St Stithians ‘murder-suicide’: GBV org points to ‘toxic masculinity, violence’

· The South African

An anti-gender-based violence (GBV) organisation has called on young men, particularly teenagers, to engage in dialogue about intimate partner violence, on the backdrop of the alleged murder-suicide involving St Stithian teens, Cameron Waldeck-Cooks and Ethan Coetzee.

The bodies of the rumoured couple were discovered at a Sabie lodge on Monday, 3 August. 

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According to a preliminary forensic report, 17-year-old Cameron is believed to have been strangled, while 19-year-old Ethan reportedly took his own life.

GBV ORG ON ST STITHIAN ‘MURDER-SUICIDE’

In a lengthy statement, Not In My Name anti-GBV activist Lesego Mahlangu addressed the deaths of St Stithian teens, Cameron Waldeck-Cooks and Ethan Coetzee.

Mahlangu pointed to police initial findings that the deaths were attributed to a murder-suicide, possibly as a result of a romantic relationship between the teens.

She said: “We are called to reflect more deeply on the nature of intimate partner and close relationships, which are often shaped by toxic masculinity and harmful patriarchal norms. These are social conditions that not only place women and partners at risk; they dehumanise men by discouraging vulnerability, emotional expression, and healthy ways of responding to conflict, rejection, and emotional distress.

“While women continue to bear the greatest burden of this violence, meaningful prevention requires us to engage men and boys intentionally. We must demand spaces where they are not only spoken to, but where they are encouraged to speak openly about masculinity, emotional well-being, accountability, and violence.

“Challenging toxic patriarchal structures is not simply about protecting women; it is equally about preventing young men from becoming both perpetrators and victims of the same destructive system.

The GBV org went on to claim that the St Stithians double tragedy was an example that “violence knows no racial boundaries”.

She continued: “As we mourn and stand in solidarity with the Waldeck-Cooks family, we also extend our sympathies to the Coetzee family, who are mourning the loss of a young man believed to have been caught in the same cycle of toxic masculinity and violence that continues to devastate families and communities across South Africa.”

‘DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN TEEN RELATIONSHIPS’

Former DA MP Phumzile van Damme has shared similar sentiments about the St Stithian teens whose lives were cut short.

She shared in a tweet: “We need to start talking about domestic violence in teenage relationships. Too often, the conversation, campaigns and support services are framed around adult couples, when the same patterns can begin long before the age of 18.

“If we want to prevent domestic abuse rather than simply respond to it, we need to recognise it earlier, talk about it openly, and ensure young people know what healthy relationships look like.”

She added, “I know someone will say, ‘No dating before 18 for my kids’. My baby love, they’ll probably date anyway. The only difference is they’ll do it behind your back. And you’ll miss the opportunity to share your experience, spot red flags, and be the person they turn to when something doesn’t feel right.

“Far better to know who they’re dating, get a sense of the relationship yourself, and create an environment where they can talk to you openly without fear. You can’t prevent every tragedy. But where there’s an opportunity to reduce the risk, don’t bury your head in the sand. Teenagers will be teenagers. Our jobs as adults is to make sure they don’t have to navigate inevitable relationships alone.

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