Understanding Intimacy: Expert Answers To Common Sexual Health Questions
· Free Press Journal
It has been six months since we got married, but our marriage is yet to be consummated. My husband is frigid in the extreme. What should I do? —RK, Chembur
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Unconsummated marriage is common, so do not lose heart. You need to figure out why he goes frigid in the extreme. The most common reason in newlyweds, in spite of him wanting to have intercourse, is something going wrong, i.e. either he loses erection or he ejaculates. Some face performance anxiety if he has not had sex earlier with anybody. Men usually carry the burden of performance and feel it as their duty to perform sex and satisfy their partner.
Figure out whether you too are fearing pain and hymen tear. If your vaginal muscles are going tight, he will not be able to insert his penis in the vagina. Visually, you see him losing erection here. The most intelligent decision will be to stop struggling and take guidance from the right sexologist. For us, unconsummated marriage is very common. The earlier the couple comes, the better it is, as there is less damage to the relationship. Visit a sexologist who will listen to both of you individually. With guided couple therapy, you will be able to consummate your marriage.
If masturbating is normal, how often can one indulge in it in a week? —UM, Charkop
Masturbation is a normal and physiological act. Each one does as per his or her sexual appetite. There is no thumb rule of doing it a specific number of times in a week. It can be done once a week or daily. It does not cause any harm. It helps release stress and sexual peaks. It all depends on your interest in sex and your libido. Over-indulging is wrong when you neglect your routine and it becomes an act of compulsion.
I am a 24-year-old man. I have zero interest in girls but men do attract me. Am I gay? —OG, Khar
Young man, you know the correct answer. You need to accept yourself with enough courage. It is a different sexual orientation. It is not your fault, nor are you getting attracted to men on purpose. It is not in your hands, nor can you control your brain or change the brain chemistry. Be bold enough and stand up for yourself. You can meet a counsellor or a sexologist to empower yourself. Lastly, it is how you are designed by the Almighty.
Dr Hetal Gosalia, Samadhan Health Studio. Queries may be sent to [email protected]